「しかし」とその暗示的な意味 - スペイン川カウンセリングセンター

“But” and It’s Implied Meaning — Spanish River Counseling Center 0 “But” and It’s Implied Meaning Jill Dagistino Apr 27 Written By Guest User “But” is a word most of us get into the habit of using quite often when engaging in dialogue. It sort of slips out as a way to link two separate phrases or defend our own beliefs or opinions. For example, “You know I love you, but…” or “I want to go to the gym, but…” or “You did a great job, but…” Well, you get the idea. What happens when you read these examples? Our response becomes emotional and we rationally ignore everything that was uttered before “but” and focus on the words that follow. From a grammatical perspective, “but” is a conjunction used specifically to imply contrast when the second idea or statement is different from the first, negating the first statement as if it is not true. The phrase attached after “but” is the defining, last impression, the one that sticks. Somehow along the way, we adapted its usage and applied “but” as we would the word “and”. We use it to add rhythm and flow to verbal sentence structure. And, let’s face it, we use it to interrupt someone else who’s speaking. “But” signals “I have something to say that matters more than what you’re saying.” It evokes judgment, condemnation, and an elevated sense of self. Think of a small child who whines, “But I don’t want to!” “But” can push our buttons and provoke us to feel negativity. Think this may seem like a bit of a stretch? Consider how this one little word and the attitude that goes with it is ingrained in our culture. It’s become common. Of course, there is nothing wrong with using “but”, as long as there is an awareness of how it influences other people’s thinking. That means using it when it becomes important to acknowledge something negative while emphasizing a positive alternative. For example, “This test didn’t show your best effort, ‘but’ I know you’ll do better next time” or “This sets us back a bit, ‘but’ we’ve gotten through it before and we’ll do it again.” The reason for highlighting the use of “but” is to motivate us to hit the pause button, replace it with the word “and”, or add a period and make 2 distinct sentences. Doing so gives equality and validity to both opposing phrases. Habits are hard to change, and we can do it. “But” may be part of your daily vocabulary, and it doesn’t have to remain active. (Did you catch those statements as examples?) Many department heads or managers erode the potential benefits of motivating speeches by using “but”. Parents lose their children’s attention or interest by contradicting themselves. And, spouses create doubt about love with careless uses of “but”. Several years ago, I attended a seminar on this very subject. Every time someone said “but” we were encouraged to jump out of our seats, point our fingers, and scream, “You said but!” Not exactly the nicest way to break a habit, “BUT” it is effective. Now that “but” has been given the spotlight, you won’t be able to unhear it when used around you. You’ll notice also how frequently it enters conversation and presentations. It may be to you like nails on a chalkboard, something irritating. You may even catch yourself internally chanting “He said but. She said but”. Try making a change and see how others respond. — Jill Dagistino, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern Tap to Meet the Author Tap to Meet the Author Guest User Previous Previous Conflict Next Next Designing your Child’s Relationship Blueprint